It's a seemingly innocuous conversation starter: "So, I hear you're in med school now. How do you like it?" People ask me this all the freaking time. I try to come up with a different clever deflection every time, because there's no real answer to that question--at least not a good one.
How do I like it? I don't like it at all today. Yesterday, it didn't really interfere with my life, so I guess I liked it just fine. But let's get one thing straight: med school isn't something you like. It is not an inherently pleasurable experience. You're not supposed to like it. Med school is something you do because of the places it can take you. It is important, educational, challenging; it'll force you to grow and change in lots of way, it'll open doors, allow you brave new insights into the human condition, give you huge privileges and responsibilities, but it certainly isn't fun most of the time.
The school-student relationship is a complicated one. I have many mixed feelings about school-- and feelings about those feelings, and feelings about how much time I waste having FEELINGS when really I should be studying. The best way I can describe it is like this: Going to med school is like having a really hot girlfriend who is batshit insane.
She doesn't let you hang out with your friends, and they all complain about how every since you two got together they never see you anymore and even when they do see you you're just not as much fun as you used to be. You need time away from your needy, high-maintenance girl, but whenever you're apart from her you're constantly stressing; you know she'll punish you for these precious moments of alone time. She can be vindictive when you don't pay her enough attention. You stay with her because she's really hot, and because you're kind of in over your head. The idea of breaking up with her makes you break out in a cold sweat--that could go so wrong in so many awful ways. But at some point you realize that she's kind of mean to you most of the time, and yeah, okay, she's really hot but she doesn't even put out very often. You ask yourself, "Self, why the fuck am I still with this crazy bitch?!" But then you buy flowers on the way home cause you feel bad for even thinking bad thoughts about her. She's your girlfriend. You love her. Even if she doesn't love you back.
Of course, that metaphor falls apart because you graduate from medical school with a degree that empowers you to become a doctor: a useful, well-respected, well-paid, productive member of society. Theoretically, that's what makes the mild atrocities of med school worth it. In my humble opinion, being dead sexy does not make a emotionally abusive girlfriend 'worth it.' Break up with that ho; you can do better.
Some days, I dream of breaking up with med school. But most of the time I know that this will all be worth it some day. And frankly, I can't do better. This is the only career I want to marry. (Well, ok, if I could sing like Kelly Clarkson I would say "Fuck med school!" and become a rockstar at the first opportunity. But I'm not going to die a spinster waiting for Brad to dump Angelina and I'm not going to wait tables while I wait for my singing voice to magically stop sounding like Carrot Top's imitation of a drowning cat.)
You know who really understood the med school-med student relationship? The Offspring.
"...Now I know I'm being used
But that's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
But that's okay cause I've got no self esteem
...
When she's saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she saying, oh that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can stand
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah!"
